Double-Minded

Here is the first poem I ever wrote on 9-17-12, and it also happens to be my favorite. This was when my anxiety was first really climaxing and then I had my first flashback on 10-5-12. My faith was still strong at this point, but around this time I began to struggle greatly with my relationship with God. In order to understand the poem, you have to read the non-italics together (all Bible verses), and then read the italics together (my own thoughts). It’s two poems.

psalm 91_4-5

Your Word says toward me, how precious are Your thoughts

My soul will not be comforted day or night

While I was a sinner, Christ died on the cross

And my aching flesh puts up an endless fight

The desire of my soul is for Your name

We are commanded to not quench the Spirit

It was for Your love for me that Jesus came

But Lord, I feel so deaf and cannot hear it

You promised to help just at the break of dawn

The still small voice I am told to listen for

So I will sing to You, I sing a new song

But the waves crash too loud on the distant shore

I love You, my Rock, my Fortress, and my Strength

If my tears are in Your bottle and Your book

So I will stand and take up my shield of faith

Why do I feel You donโ€™t take a second look?

I must wait patiently and trust in You, Lord

One who doubts is an uncontrollable wave

Your comforting Word is sharper than a sword

Iโ€™m double-minded, unstable in my ways

I fear not, I am Yours and You call my name

Lord, I do believe; please help my unbelief

You promised to wipe tears and relieve my pain

Comfort my soul, I am begging for relief

I trust that You will forever be the same.

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10 thoughts on “Double-Minded

    • Great! I’m pretty new too, only a month and a half. I love it, I love the community and the support. I am following your blog, looking forward to reading what you write ๐Ÿ™‚

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