I’ve been posting all serious things recently, so thought I’d take a moment to share my blessings.
This morning, my 6 month old woke up earlier than I desired (especially after nursing almost every hour through the night). When I realized she wasn’t going to go back to sleep, I decided to nurse her lying down like we did when I was healing. She wasn’t hungry, but enjoyed it as much as I did. She nursed for 45 minutes, popping off every minute to smile, with that gummy grin reaching her eyes.
Breastfeeding grounds me. She is close and looking in my eyes; I am meeting more of her needs than one; her tiny body curled into my chest. It grounds her too. Sometimes in the middle of the day, she just needs to connect for a few seconds before she can return to playing.
My son is quite the opposite of calming. He’ll be 4 next Saturday. He is tired of being cooped up and is going bonkers inside. I turned on his music full blast the other day and taught him how to jump on the bed. Then I told him to take the empty boxes to the kitchen so I could break them down. 45 minutes later, he was calm. I’m going to have to save those diaper boxes for him more often!
My marriage seems to have always been an uphill challenge, but we are better than we have ever been. Last night, we drove 45 minutes together to pick up my grandma from the airport. Instead of listening to a March Madness game on the radio (he actually wanted to be home watching but didn’t want me out in city traffic alone on a March Madness Friday), we turned it off and enjoyed each other’s company.
I feel that by the time our kids’ needs are met and my PTSD needs are met (unfortunately this takes a lot out of my family), there is little time for our needs as a couple… Or for him, really. I am blessed by his patience as I battle my symptoms, and am thankful he is at my side.
My life is beautiful.
Life and PTSD 
So lovely to read such a sensitive and positive post. I’m very glad for you that you have this experience. You definitely deserve it. Hugs, Ellie xxx
Thanks 🙂 We have to savor those brief moments of peace, don’t we?! 🙂 xx
Oh, you so deserve a moment of peace. A genuine, heart felt smile. Loved reading this. Take those moments when you can get them 🙂
Thank you so much. Oh how I enjoyed these ever so brief moments of peace.
I am happy for you. You always show such awareness and kindness. so positive to read about you and your husband. the sharing of a journey is one of the most spectacular gifts of life.
Thank you 🙂 We certainly have our share (and more than our share) of struggle as a couple, but when the storm passes and we’re still holding hands, I think that’s a good sign. 🙂
I love the way you can give and give in the midst of your own need.
Thanks 🙂 I am quite a selfish person and usually have to consciously step outside myself to meet my family’s needs…. Oh how I struggle to meet their needs.
Beautiful!!!