For today, I resolve to:
Speak positively of everyone
Use gentle words with my husband
Listen to my son when he speaks
Breathe before I speak or act
Seek health in my friendships and relationships
Set my mind on things above
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. -Proverbs 31:26
Photo credit: http://annawrites.com/blog/2013/08/14/real-family-real-sacrifice-whats-that-about/
My new therapist suggested I do my best to follow a consistent schedule and thought that was the very next step for me, besides seeing a psychiatrist. I shared that I am less capable of getting things accomplished on bad days, and that my bad days usually revolve around getting less sleep (hence the bad day has a scheduled nap for me!). Therefore, I made three schedules to go by that have doable goals for each level of emotion. As I have time, I will put coping skills into the various groupings, but I thought these overall categories were good enough to start with. I also started to make a schedule that has a column for each person in the family (namely, what I need to be doing for each of them during each time frame), and that’s what I’ll probably go by, but here is my first attempt at ordered living 🙂
We’ll see how it goes. I much prefer making pretty charts and schedules than actually going by them. This chart is far from being perfected! Excel is so fun 🙂
I asked my son what he was drawing and he said, “I’m drawing what’s inside my heart.” I asked him to tell me about it and he replied, “I can’t say. Let me draw it. I’m drawing my heart.” Here is what he drew. He is such a therapist’s son.
My therapist has always told me to re-do my art therapy when it is dark; do an opposite. While my inside feels dark, bruised, and bloody, this is what I want my heart to feel like. I want it to feel vibrant, happy, and colorful. I used a lot of yellow because it’s light; I used a lot of pink because it’s one of my favorite colors; and I used orange because it’s my son’s favorite color. I noticed that using so many colors requires more effort. In order to fill all the gaps with different colors, it takes time and careful calculation. I believe this is how much of my life is. I can allow my life to be dark, black, and red. It’s easier to allow the darkness to overtake me. But if I put just a little more effort in and add a few vibrant colors, perhaps just a tiny bit of light will shine through. That is all we need to have hope and endurance; a little bit of light.