Brave Heart Award

Sunshine, at http://avictimsjournal.wordpress.com/, nominated me for the Brave Heart Award. This is a very insightful and well-written blog about a woman who is recovering from trauma, and I love reading her blog. Thank you, Sunshine, for this nomination! I am honored 🙂

The Brave Heart Mission Statement

To encourage all those whom have been abused to share their hope with others so that they will no longer be a victim but a survivor.

What is The Brave Heart Award?  The Brave Heart Award is for survivors of abuse and for those whom encourage healing.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.

Stand Strong.

Q&A

1.Tell us a little bit about your blog. Who designed it? I designed it… The background photo was taken on my wedding day, and it’s my veil with grass and trees in the background
2. What is the title and description of your blog? Life and PTSD. It’s a blog about my journey to heal from PTSD, plus posts about my family and career as a therapist.
3. Who is your intended audience? Anyone who wants to learn more about PTSD and/or not feel alone in their journey
4. How did you come up with the title of your blog? I wanted “PTSD” in the title so I’d get more PTSD hits, but I wanted my title to be more than that. Though it is a consuming diagnosis, I am more than that. I want to share my life with the blogging world, too.
5. Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog. Initially, I published my blog with my name and a photo of myself. When I realized how many hits it was getting, I went anonymous for two reasons: panic that so many strangers would know what I’m going through; and I didn’t want my clients to come across it because it would affect the therapeutic relationship.
6. What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike? I have one other blog that I kinda keep up with. I panicked and deleted everything off it though, and barely write on it anymore. It is not educational or poetic or well-planned… it is me journaling through my spirals. I’m not going to share it publicly. If you are curious for the URL, you may email me.
7. Do you have any unique talents or hobbies? I don’t really consider anything I do to be unique, but I enjoy photography, writing, and blogging.
8. How can we contact you or find out more about your blog? You may contact me and find out more about my blog on the “about” section
9. What can we expect from you in the future? psychoeducational posts, autobiographical posts, poems, and my thoughts on the various aspects of my life.
10. What can readers who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful? Just by reading and “liking” my blog, I am very encouraged and put forth more effort into my writing and advertising.
11. Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers? For those who struggle with PTSD or another mental illness, I strongly urge you to seek therapy in order to process your traumas. I also encourage you to get out of bed everyday and try your hardest. Make small, do-able goals. Remember that the waves of the spirals always calm, just strap your feet down and hold on.
12. Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

The Little Girl And The Therapist

Down, down I descend into the darkness

The sound pierces my ears

Finally, I find her in the corner of a cold room

Knees to her chest, hands over her ears

She is screaming

“Hold her,” I vaguely hear someone say

I can barely shake my head

I hear the voice again. “It’s your choice.”

I am frozen as I watch her in the corner

My desire is to join her; I want to scream louder

She does not deserve this but I do it anyway

I force myself to sit on the cement floor

Cinder blocks behind me

Why is she down here?  I wonder

With no hesitation, she immediately curls into my lap

I try not to notice what she is wearing

Instead, I wrap her in a blanket and hold her tight

I kiss her forehead and she falls asleep.

–

And then I am crying

Restrained tears, but I am not holding her

I am in my therapist’s office

The floors are not cement; they are polished wood

There is furniture, white and black

Credentials hanging on the wall

I dare not look up but if I did, I’d see a caring face

I stare at the sand tray table instead

When the tears are over, the body memories calm

I uncurl my legs and place them on the wooden floor

My arms relax and I force myself to breathe

–

The girl is asleep

She will not hurt me tonight.

My 12 Nominees

http://morningpageswriter.wordpress.com/

http://afraidtotell.wordpress.com/

http://66amazon.wordpress.com/

http://lisapinney.wordpress.com/

http://secretangelps911.wordpress.com/

http://cptsd2013.wordpress.com/

http://elliethompson.wordpress.com/

http://ptsdfromtheinsideout.wordpress.com/

http://findinghopessunshine.wordpress.com/

http://brokebutbeingrepaired.wordpress.com/

http://beatingtrauma.com/

http://thepowerofsilenceblog.wordpress.com/

To my nominees, here are the instructions for accepting the award;

Rules for accepting the Award

1. Thank the person whom nominated you.

2. Post a comment on your nominees blog (with a link back to your Brave Heart Award Results), notifying them that they have been nominated for The Brave Heart Award with the Quote below.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are losing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.

Stand Strong.

3. Take the 12 question interview yourself and share your answers on your blog.

4. Nominate 12 blogs.
5. Share the 12 question interview with your nominees to answer.
6. Share your 12 nominees website/blog links on your blog page.
7. You can not nominate a blog if they have already received the Brave Heart Award.

12 Questions Asked:

1.Tell us a little bit about your blog. Who designed it?
2. What is the title and description of your blog?
3. Who is your intended audience?
4. How did you come up with the title of your blog?
5. Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.
6. What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?
7. Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?
8. How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?
9. What can we expect from you in the future?
10. What can readers who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?
11. Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?
12. Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

Liebster Awards!

I was nominated for the Liebster Award twice in the past few days, so instead of writing two separate posts, I’m going to combine them. Ellie Sofia at http://elliethompson.wordpress.com/ and ptsdfrozen at http://ptsdfromtheinsideout.wordpress.com/ nominated me. I am so blessed to be Ellie’s blogging friend; her writing is powerful, her story is painfully and beautifully sincere, and she has a heart of gold. Thank you, Ellie!! I am also immensely enjoying getting to know ptsdfrozen because I feel like I very much connect with this woman (including her screenname!). Thank you, ladies!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

These awards often feel more like chain letters than awards. These are hard questions for me to answer, and the only reason I am doing this is because I want to recognize some of my favorite blogs for their posts and support. Through these blogs (and many others I am following), I feel slightly more normalized for the trials I am going through.

I Was Given These Questions

1.  Who do you write for? I write to give myself a voice and an outlet.

2. What type of blogs do you like?  I enjoy reading blogs written by people who are working hard to heal from mental illness, as well as people who are sweetly encouraging in their walk with Jesus.

3.  What do you wish the world understood about PTSD?

A friend just asked me what PTSD was like. I answered something like, “It’s like I’m completely fine one second and then the next second I’m spiraling into a deep hole because of a stupid trigger. Then I’m fine, and then I’m triggered and I’m dizzy for days, I can’t breathe, and I am caught in visual, auditory, and body flashbacks of my past. It is completely unpredictable and leaves immense devastation in its wake. Sometimes I have to pull over while driving because I can’t trust that I won’t make an impulsive decision in the midst of the most random and uncalled for spiral.”

4.  What would you say is the biggest passion in your life? I looked up “passion” to help me answer this question. “Strong and uncontrollable emotion.” Right now I have many strong and uncontrollable emotions but none are the result of passion. If I strip down every goal, behavior, and task, my underlying desire is to teach my children to trust in Jesus.

5.  What are you most proud of? My children.

6.  What activity makes you feel like yourself the most? Anything related to my job. During session, I am calm and easy to converse with. I feel normal.

7.  If you could have a dinner party with 10 famous figures dead or alive, who would they be? I am changing this, because I couldn’t care less about famous people. I would choose to have a dinner party with finallyspeakingmytruth, Ellie Sofia, ptsdfrozen, 66amazon, pinneyl, teddylee01, mandy, Mariann Martland, ideationsms, and afraidtotell (amongst others, but these are the first that popped into my head)

8.  If you could choose a different profession for this life what would it  be? I want to be: a professor, therapist, and an author. I am already a therapist; in the future, I may still earn my PhD and become a professor; and I have written one book and am working on another, so I still may be published at some point! I don’t want to change professions, I just want to add to my career!

9.  Describe your personality in 3 words. labile, caring, introspective

10.  Name a person who has made a significant impact on your life. Truly, my husband. We constantly battle over both stupid and serious things, but at the end of the day we are still holding hands. We still touch feet while we sleep (because any other cuddling may or may not send me into a spiral). We still kiss each other goodbye. We still say we love each other. We still say goodnight. We still feel safe knowing the other person is in the other room, even if we are in a monumental argument over making our own toothpaste vs. buying toothpaste.

~

1.What is the best thing about you?  My empathy
2.What time of day do you blog? Whenever I can catch a chance with my busy life. Usually first thing in the morning or right before I go to bed.
3.How many revisions does it take before you finally publish? 8-ish (this one is 14 and counting because it’s taking so long to write this post!)
4.Who is/was the most influential person in your life? See above
5.In one word describe yourself. Labile
6.Where do you see yourself one year from now? A year closer to feeling whole and calm.
7.What is your favourite social media? WordPress
8.What type of blogs do you follow? Those who struggle with PTSD and people with a strong faith in Jesus. I need connection to both worlds.
9.What is the motivating factor for you to blog? I NEED an outlet for this crap inside my head
10.How would you describe your blog content to someone who has not read it. See above PTSD question
11.What have you learned about yourself from blogging? I have realized that I felt so desperately alone in my symptoms before. I did not know a part of me needed this community of people who struggle with the same things I do.

10 Random Facts About Myself

I do not have the energy for this…

10 Questions For My Nominees

Pick any 10 questions above

Nominees

Feel free to use either of the graphics for your post

http://finallyspeakingmytruth.com/

She was the first person to follow my blog and has become an amazing friend and support. Her blog is full of beautiful insights, amazing writing, and thoughtful words.

http://teddylee01.wordpress.com/

I very much enjoy reading his blog! It seems rare to have a male perspective in the mental health world, and he’s a great writer.

http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com/

Beautiful art therapy!

http://katebortell.wordpress.com/

A favorite because her posts are very uplifting

http://discussingdissociation.com/

http://singledadventures.com/

http://lisapinney.wordpress.com/This is quickly becoming a favorite because she writes about her recovery from trauma as well as her relationship with Jesus. I greatly  benefit from her encouraging words and her posts.

http://beautyfromtheashes613.wordpress.com/

http://cherished79.wordpress.com/

http://ihurtericabelle.wordpress.com/

The Official Rules Of The Liebster Award 

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

1. thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2. display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. 

3. answer 10 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

4. provide 10 random facts about yourself.

5. nominate up to 10 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers.

6. create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.

7. list these rules in your post . Once you have written and published it, you then have to:

8. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it