In light of my kitchen looking like this, my oatmeal has broccoli bits in it from the measuring cup I used last night.
My husband had to dig through these clean clothes to find his work clothes:
I was going to take a photo of the bathroom but considering my three year old is standing to pee, I don’t think you want to see the damage in there! I would also reveal the pile of dirty diapers next to the changing pad (the diaper pail is iced over outside), but I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me or how I run my home (I also don’t want Child Protective Services showing up at my front door!).
I began crying when the alarm woke me to wake my husband this morning (because if he’s in charge of the alarm, it’ll end up waking the whole house) because I had just gotten the baby back to sleep after a long night. “I can’t do this anymore!” I cried. “I need sleep to function!” He replied, “Well, you can do it one more day.” He is right. If I break down the daunting tasks ahead of me, I can handle one more day. However, if I imagine how my exhaustion is going to end up being the demise of my children’s futures, I will likely fall apart and get nothing done today.
One of my greatest desires is to be one of *those* wives. The kind who homeschools her children flawlessly, whose home is spotless, dinner is served promptly at 6pm, children are bathed nightly and put into bed on time. However, the reality is that sometimes at 9:30pm, my son has perched himself several feet off the ground naked and has no plans of coming down; my five month old is crying because she rolled herself over while sleeping and promptly woke herself up; dinner (if it was even served at all, many times it’s a PB&J for my son) is out on the stove ready to be stored in the fridge; the smoke detector is going off because I left a burner on; my phone is ringing; and I am tripping over Hot Wheels, Leog’s, or Thomas train tracks to complete just *one* of these tasks. Forget time to use the bathroom or blow my nose.
So, at the wise words of my husband, I can do one more day. One task at a time. Chances are, my house will still be a disaster at the end of the day, but if I’ve continued to steadily work and have not just given up and passed out in bed at 3pm, I will be satisfied. My children are always fed, *fairly* clean, and *mostly* happy. Right now, in the midst of this exhausting postpartum period, those things seem to be the most important, and it appears that I can gauge my success by them.
Next on my agenda: put baby down for nap and tackle those dishes!!
Life and PTSD 
Been there…..done that…..rather you than me, lol xxx 🙂
Haha, thanks! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Um, that perfect put together wife you talked about?? It doesn’t exist. People may put up that image. I know I try to and have for years, but my house is trashed as well, I just found a coffee cup in my bathroom with mold in it, yuck! My kids last bath was on Saturday. But they’re happy, we laughed this morning. That postpartum period was one of the most stressful times of my life. Worse than residency. Cut yourself some slack. A LOT of slack. Take 10minute to relax and just stare at the wall. One day at a time is true, but give yourself a break as well. Even moms need time off. Take care, my dear.
Thanks for the encouragement, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one struggling to keep it together in my day-to-day life to keep my house running. It really feels like it sometimes though, especially when I take a quick look on my Facebook feed! And if I gave myself a break to stare at a wall, I would be asleep within about 15 seconds!! Thank God my mother-in-law showed up today and let me take a nap… but then I got NOTHING done because I had to work in the afternoon, and then kid swimming lessons in the evening. I really got nothing done today.
So so glad you got a nap. You took care of yourself. That is getting something done. Put that on your to do list as well. The other stuff can wait. I ate dinner with my kids, gave them baths (oh so overdue) and then cuddled with my sick daughter until she fell asleep. The dishes are still sitting on the counter. And I didn’t do that load of laundry I said I would, but oh well.
I think every house with a family battles the dish and laundry zones. (and dust, clutter, etc.) It is always ongoing and never done. Don’t let it bring you down. Just celebrate the little successes along the way. If you can see the bottom of your sink once a day or if you have all your clothes washed (even if they aren’t put away) consider these major successes.
It does get easier when your littlest one is done nursing, so in the meantime cut yourself some slack. My mom said she had to choose one day between a perfect house or spending time with her kids, and she chose her kids. The house is always waiting, and the kids grow up. I have often reminded myself of her advice. She was/is an awesome mom.
PS – Never photograph the clutter! It always looks worse in a picture than in real life. 🙂
Ha! Except I photoshopped out some of the dishes 😉
Hang in there. We all go through this. I was very sick in November/December, got behind on all my chores, just now feeling like I am caught up, it’s mid fed…lol one day at a time. One chore at a time. And as others have said its so important to take care of you first. If mammas not good no one is. Hugs!
Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs to you too!